JudydeSu

for I do feel hollow, shallow in my heart

for I kept thinking about playing around

and doing unimportant trifles or entertainment

to run away from reality



yeah



I want to run away

maybe to the outer space





I am tired of expectation

tired of being active and passive at the same time

tired of the optimistic thinking about challenge

those words I usesd to convince myself

god damned I am really afraid of uncertainty

and I am freaked out





I get to accomplish two tasks during a month

I don't believe I can both do them well

and I kept playing these days

and now only half month left



I hate to say nothing but regrets

those are rubbish,garbage,trash...

I want to write something else

but not in this moment



because I can't sleep again

and I am really pissed

I took a pill for my allergic rhinitis

at 2 o'clock and don't eat any food or pills for

protecting the stomach



I don't feel well

not only physically but also spiritually

I don't know why I feel lost

because I thought I always know what I am doing

and what I am going to do

but now I can't get away the blueness of lacking something



although my English is poor

sometimes just have the impulse of using it

I don't know why